Pastor Rockwell / CHILDREN AND PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY 

Pastor Jerry Rockwell

 

CHILDREN AND PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY 

and SERVANT OBEDIENCE

 

Ephesians 6:1-9

Introduction: The passage under study today is an important part of the biblical revelation. There is no greater problem in the 21st century than the exploitation of children and workers (i.e., servants). There is an epidemic today of child criminals. There was a time when criminal activity was limited to adults, usually in their 30s and beyond. There was child delinquency in the post-World War II culture (1945-1970), but it was not an epidemic as it is today. Many of the arrests reported today (according to local news sources) are in the teenage to late twenties age range. You would never hear of an 11 or 12-year-old being in trouble with the law. That has become somewhat common today. In 2020, the state had a total of 75,972 juvenile arrests, with the majority involving misdemeanors. We could ask the question, “Why is this so?” My conclusion is parental absenteeism. In addition, the matter of single-parent families, with the major part of the family missing, is the father. 

The development of the family in the post-WWII era speaks of the way the family developed. The generation following the war became known as the “Baby Boomers.” There was a contributing factor to that designation. Men were returning from the war and were either married before the war or after. The idea was to begin a family, and the birth rate skyrocketed. According to the internet, “Following World War II, the United States experienced a greatly elevated birth rate, adding on average 4.24 million new babies to the population every year between 1946 and 1964.” Additionally, some consider a strong economy to be a contributing factor. Families felt they could have a large family since the economy made it possible to support them. Since that time, the birth rate has declined gradually. The economy was robust, and families could afford it. That has all changed. The Baby Boomer society transitioned to the “Hippy Generation” to Generation X, which was comprised of children born during the “Baby Boomer” generation. Pew Research indicates that the name “Generation X” overtook the original designation as “Baby Bust.” The birth rate declined. The subsequent generation designation became the “Millennials.” During this period of history, several things began to manifest. Sexual immorality began to accelerate, as well as drug use. The writings of men like Alfred Kinsey influenced this development. He published the “Kinsey Report,” which many consider the catalyst for the “Sexual Revolution.” This produced a non-critical attitude toward sexual promiscuity. This produced several things sexually such as the “Transgender” and “Homosexuality” movement. Many have been influenced by a “non-biblical” attitude in the population of the United States and the world. An absentee church in the culture opened the door for the “Promiscuity Revolution.” This introduction is an attempt to see what is going on in our society and what the Christian can do to prevent this being their legacy. A biblical lifestyle is extremely needed in a society that has lost its way, and the United States is moving rapidly toward becoming a “third world country.” There is a need for families to make a commitment to the biblical lifestyle and show a world in turmoil a way of life that can avoid some of the pitfalls of delinquent children. The first four verses of Ephesians 6 address the relationship between a child and a father. You may ask, “Where does the mother come into the equation?” She is in vs. 2 of the text. The mother’s role in a child’s life will also be addressed. The passage covers two major parts of the family, the father, the child, and the servant. 

  1. RAISING CHILDREN, Ephesians 6:1-3. This part of a child’s life is the place where character and responsibility are developed. It is not an easy task. Most parents are absent. That does not mean they are not around, but they are not engaged with their children. You go to a restaurant and observe a family of two adults and two children; there is no conversation between them because they all have their eyes and heads down, staring at their mobile phones. The only discussion is usually with the father, and he does not speak until a waiter appears. Then he often has to address a child sternly about ordering from the menu. It says in Ephesians 6:1 (KJV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. They obey their father when he sternly makes requests, and they look at the menu and place an order. That is usually the extent of interaction and opportunity to obey their father. Admittedly, this is the model of most families who have no instructions about raising a family, nor do they know anything about what the Bible says about raising children. We no longer live in a Christian society but a pagan culture. The Christian population has been eclipsed by those who know nothing about God or the Bible and have no desire to know anything about the Bible or the God of the Bible. There was a time when the school system supported families and reinforced what they were learning at home. Not any longer. That makes this section of Ephesians an essential part of family life. Some would say, well, my children are grown and have families of their own. Let them teach and help their children. Just because the children you had have become adults, your responsibility has not ended. You have an opportunity to influence your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. This lesson is an integral part of God’s revelation on childrearing (although Proverbs is also an excellent source).
  2. CHILDREN IN THE BIBLE. Instruction to children is significant in Proverbs. The first four verses addressed to children in Proverbs begin with “Hear, ye children. . .” (Prov. 4:1) or “Hear me now therefore. . .” (Prov. 5:7), or “Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children. . .” (Prov. 7:24; 8:32). Much of proverbs is addressed to the father or child. We know the Proverbs were written by King Solomon, and much was addressed to his son. It says in Proverbs 1:8 (KJV) My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother. The phrase “My son” or “O my son” appears 23 times in Proverbs. There is a sense in which Proverbs could be considered a guide to raising children. There are instructions, exhortations, warnings, and other items that are addressed to children. The Proverbs is an excellent study on what God expects in morality and relationships. In Proverbs 1 Solomon instructs his son about joining with “sinners” and their lifestyle (Prov. 1:10-1-19). How many parents today help their children recognize the dangers of having friends who are not motivated to please God? We could teach several Sunday school lessons on raising children from the book of Proverbs alone. 
  1. CHILDREN IN EPHESIANS. The word “children” in Ephesians is a means of designating believers whom Paul addresses with instructions (Eph. 1:5; 4:14; 5:1; 8). One time the word “children” is used to identify “children of disobedience” and “wrath” (Eph. 5:6). Another time Paul uses the word “children” and reminds the Ephesian believer that they were onetime, “children of disobedience” meaning they were lost and not believers (Eph. 2:2, 3). The first time Paul uses the word “children” in relation to a child of parents is in Ephesians 6:1, where he gives instructions to them regarding their parents. CHILDREN’S INSTRUCTIONS IN EPHESIANS. There are three matters the “child” of parents is instructed to do.
  2. “Obey your parents” Ephesians 6:1. There is a parallel passage in Colossians 3:20 (KJV) Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. A child should have a desire to obey their parents. What would children today be like if we still lived under the Mosaic Law? Look at what it says in Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (KJV) 18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. This is a rather intense treatment of rebellion in a child, although this could have been an older child since he was diagnosed as a “glutton, and a drunkard.”  The Bible encourages obedience in children. It says in Proverbs 1:8 (KJV) My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother. Parents have an important responsibility in raising their children in the things of the Lord. 
  3. “Honour thy father and mother” Ephesians 6:2-3. These two verses build on what was stated in the Old Testament. God gave a promise to the children of Israel in Deuteronomy 5:16 (KJV) Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. When parents teach their children the Bible, they will learn the things God expects of them and the benefits of obedience. Length of life is a sign of biblical obedience in Christians. You may ask, “What about children killed in an accident or who die at an early age?” God has promised to protect a child from an early age. King David had a child of adultery with Bathsheba, and when she became pregnant, David sought to cover his sin and eventually had her husband Uriah killed in battle 0(2 Samuel 11:1-27). Nathan, the prophet, confronted David about his sins of adultery and murder. The consequences were hard, and Nathan informed David in that “the sword shall never depart from thine house” (1 Sam. 12:10) and the child Bathsheba gave birth to will die (1 Sam. 12:14). The child fell ill an David mourned and prayed for the child, yet when the child died David made an interesting after word of the child’s death was delivered to him. He said in 2 Samuel 12:23 “. . .I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” This statement verifies that an infant or child who has not come to the place of understanding sin they are safe and will be in heaven. 
  1. III.RESPONSIBILITIES of FATHERS and MOTHERS, Ephesians 6:4. This passage gives instructions to the father, but the mother is not mentioned here, yet she is in other passages which will be explored.
  1. FATHERS. Fathers are commanded in this verse 4 to “provoke not your children to wrath.” The idea here is to not provoke them to “wrath,” which can be defined as “anger” or “exasperation.” This could also be seen as “frustration.” Children are very sensitive and have fertile minds, allowing them to learn about life and other things. They are very curious. When I was in the first grade, I thought my teacher was the source of everything I wanted to know, reading, writing, and arithmetic. I was a bit frustrated because I wanted to be able to write, but did not learn that until the 2nd grade, and then penmanship in the 3rd grade. She did teach me (and others) how to read. “See Dick, see Dick run, run Dick, run.” See Spot [the dog], see Spot run, run Spot run.” This was learning to read by “rote,” learning by “habitual repetition.” We were not taught phonics, which, by the way, is the best way to learn to read. I contend that this is one of the primary reasons I am a very slow reader. I was one of those eager children wanting to learn as much as I could. That was in 1947. We prayed at the beginning of class every day, and we prayed for our food at lunchtime. My first-grade teacher read a passage from the Bible before we recited the “Pledge of Allegiance” to the American Flag and sang either the “National Anthem” or “God Bless America.” That was all in a public school. Parents need to know what is going on with their children’s learning process and make sure they are not being “brainwashed” with the philosophy of a pagan society, abortion, gay lifestyle, sexual liberty, etc., etc., etc. Fathers have a significant responsibility to protect their children from things that are false and contrary to God’s word. They are to set the example of commitment to the Bible and salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ. When we allow the TV, Mobile phone, lost friends, and other non-biblical sources we are “provoking” them to wrath.

There is something few fathers never think of when dealing with their children. That is “unfulfilled expectations.” That is when a child asks their dad, “can we go fishing,” or “can we go to the ball game,” or “will you help me with a science project?” Then we tell them we will but not now and then it is never accomplished. This is “unfulfilled expectations.” That will drive a child to frustration and anger.

  1. MOTHERS. There is limited scripture about the mother’s role. Most of the information gives the effects of a mother’s influence. For instance, Solomon gave credit to his mother for teaching him the prophecy that motivated him to pen the words in the book of Proverbs (Prov. 31:1). He gave her credit by saying, “the prophecy that his mother taught him.” We know that Timothy, who was half Jew and half Gentile, was taught the things of God by is mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois. It says in 2 Timothy 1:5 (KJV) When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. You see, even grandmothers can contribute to a child’s spiritual growth. Solomon wrote (by inspiration of the Holy Ghost) in Proverbs 30:17 (KJV) The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it. It is a serious thing to fail to respect and honor your parents. He made another statement about the nurturing of a child in Proverbs 29:15 (KJV) The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Parents, father and mother, are to be engaged with their children. They are to teach them the things of morality, law obedience, and scripture and many other disciplines. Do not overlook Proverbs 29:15 (above) that “The rod and reproof give wisdom.” Mothers, grandmothers, get involved with the children in your family. 
  1. IV.ROLES of SERVANTS and MASTERS, Ephesians 6:5-9. This is a subject that has been overlooked and ignored for a long time. In our day there are no “servants” (i.e, slaves) but there are people employed by a company or business and there are responsibilities connected with this matter. The passage says, Ephesians 6:5-9 (KJV)   5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; 6 Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; 7 With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: 8 Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.    9 And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him. There are two points to be made here.
  1. Servants and obedience, vs. 5. There are no slaves in our culture, at least not known slaves. That means there may be another application and that is for those employed because the responsibility is similar. A person working for a company or person has the responsibility of doing what they are told to do. The means there is no room for goofing off and taking advantage of the absence of people in charge.
  2. Masters and employees, vs. 9. Note the verse says to the masters, “. . .do the same thing unto them, forbearing threatening.” The reason should not be overlooked. “. . . knowing that your Master [God] is in heaven.” Note also that there should be no playing favorites.